MAGIC

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I woke up in this bed I didn't really know in a fancy house. This girl was talking on her phone saying that she brought home a unicorn(a reference to my hair). I had walked her home and unceremoniously passed out on her bed. I smoked a cigarette on the back porch, or, she had asked me to hold it and I smoked it instead. I was in the midst of anecdoting when he stopped me mid sentence.

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"This could be the grossest moment of my life. Scraping BBQ sauce out of a Bubba Gump shot glass with a McD burger. But after that there was one bite left. So I did it again."

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This began around a year ago. She called and told me to buy some blue satin and make a dress. Then it was call this place and order a dress. Two hundred dollar dress. Some ungodly reason the sizing for bridesmaids dresses is stuck 60 years ago and seems to either require a body that doesn't exist in real life or the heavy usage of crazy underwears. They said my waist put me two sizes up from the size that fit my bust.

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I had imagined myself as a loner. A hermit. When I imagined growing old it was alone. That vision has no connection to pity, self doubt, or worry. I was always fine with that future, it seemed preferable. I enjoy being alone. I require so much alone time. I only ever have a few close friends at any given time. I see old eccentric women on the bus and I feel that I'm looking at my future. I imagine a house in the redwoods. I look at old couples and I think they're cute but I don't see myself there.

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Buying convenience the ability to buy convenience

Public crying

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We just wanted to fold into ourselves and disappear.

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The fallacy of universal truths and the unending why

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The best way to get people to open up about things they don't really want to talk about is to talk about it in a car. It's a space you can't really easily leave from and its not really easy to make eye contact, you don't even have to look at each other. My mom was asking if I had ever done LSD and I was trying to talk about it in a way that made it sound like something I didn't do anymore and she saw right the fuck through that and just requested that I ask my doctor if there were any known interactions between my medication and whatever drugs I do
"isn't your doctor into harm reduction?"

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This film is funny, it seems confusing, or maybe not fun. But it's jokester. It's making fun of all these idiots. It's absurd. I thought it would be dated, sexist. Really it's all very super goofy.

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I only eat too much when other people make it

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